Expectations

I’ve always known that I have very high expectations of myself, and for the most part, I’ve always considered this to be a good thing. It wasn’t until yesterday morning that I began to relate my expectations with what my reality will look like this year.

All of the teachers were given time to reflect on our anticipations for our time in China and then rank some statements about our expectations on a scale of 1 to 4... 1 being “rarely” and 4 being “always.” Here are a few of the ones that really caught my attention:

Have a daily quiet time

Embrace my new host culture

Teach well

Be brave and unafraid of new circumstances

Do not experience burnout

Do not fail

As I was going down the list, I found my natural inclination was to want to mark 4s and 3s for pretty much every item. After getting halfway down the list, though, I could feel the weight of these expectations bear down on me, and I realized… Woah, there is no way that I can meet all of these expectations 24 hours a day, every day.

That’s when the reality of this coming year began to sink in… There may be days when I don't have my regular quiet time. There may be days when it’s hard to embrace a different culture. There may be days when I do not teach well. There may be days when I feel afraid. There may be days when I feel burned out. There will be days when I fail.

And you know what?

That’s okay.

(Whew, that’s hard for me to admit.)

It’s okay because I am human, and I am weak, but I know the One whose grace is sufficient—whose power is made perfect in my weakness. So, like Paul says, “I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that His power may rest on me.” For His sake, I will delight in my weaknesses and the difficulties I face this next year, for when I am weak, He is strong.

His grace is sufficient, and He extends it to me every day.

I just have to put aside my expectations and my striving and accept His gift.